If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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