You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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