You can't motorboat a personality
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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