i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am naked and annoyed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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