They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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