Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
