some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize