And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
