3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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