Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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