If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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