oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
