guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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