omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
