so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
