How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
