Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
