he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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