I wish I could punch you in the face.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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