I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
