dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
