She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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