The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
