if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize