if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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