How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
