i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
