so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
