I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
