even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
