My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
