we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize