Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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