We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
