Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
