maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
