Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
