Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
