a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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