is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
