I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
