if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize