Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize