I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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