The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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