she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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