I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
