she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
