things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
