Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
