I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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