Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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