Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
