i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize