so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
