yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
