P.S. I can't hear my feet
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
jump out the window naked night went bad
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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