I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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