I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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