I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just high enough for therapy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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