Little spoons don't ask big questions
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
