with your own penis?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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