i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
