what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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